|The Terrible Secret of Turtle Bay|
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|Main Series||The Venture Bros.|
|Original Airdate||February 16, 2003|
|FCC Rating||TV-14 DS|
|Executive producer(s)||Jackson Publick|
|Editor(s)||Eric 'Doc' Hammer|
|Voices of||James Urabniak|
|Opening theme||"No Vacancy" by J.G. Thirlwell|
|Ending theme||"Tuff" by J.G. Thirlwell|
|Next Episode||Dia de Los Dangerous!|
The episode starts with The Monarch, a supervillain whose persona is built around the monarch butterfly, explains his scheme to destroy his archenemy, scientist Doctor Thaddeus Venture. The Monarch has constructed a ship that resembles a meteor and filled it with three of his henchmen. The "meteor" will fall on the grounds of the Venture compound; when the naturally curious doctor begins to analyze the vessel, the henchmen will emerge and overwhelm him.
Meanwhile, brothers Hank and Dean Venture are riding hoverbikes and looking for their dog Scamp. The boys enter their father's lab and ask him about their pet. Dr. Venture responds with pride that a cosmetics corporation has asked him to solve the problem of test animals that die too quickly; therefore he has performed an experimental procedure on Scamp that removes his fur and skin while keeping him alive. With a flourish, Venture displays the gruesome pet in an isolation tank. The boys are dismayed, but their father convinces them that it is a noble sacrifice in the name of helping young women look attractive.
Venture's bodyguard, Brock Samson, is busy washing the family jet in preparation for an upcoming trip. Venture tries to engage him in discussion, but Brock ignores him. Investigating noises from the landing gear, Brock finds a mummy and beats it savagely and somewhat gleefully. As the battered figure lies motionless, Samson urinates on the body to prevent re-animation. Venture examines the "mummy" and discovers that it is merely a man wrapped in bandages pretending to be a mummy, but the revelation seems to garner little interest.
With the jet (the X-1) loaded for the trip to New York, where Venture will present his latest invention before a scientific symposium at the United Nations, the family prepares to leave. As Brock taxis the jet down the private runway, The Monarch's fake meteor slams into the ground a few yards away. However, Venture is on edge from nerves and the "diet pills", his name for his methamphetamines, that he has taken and says they have no time to investigate. As the X-1 takes off, the henchmen inside the "meteor" discover that they are trapped inside, as the meteor landed face-down, with the door stuck against the ground.
Arriving in New York, United Nations guards assist Dr. Venture with unloading his equipment from the X-1. Dr. Venture advises them not to get too close to the X-1's engines, suggesting it causes cancer. Brock opens a panel to discover a large crocodile which leaps out and fights Brock, which he fights and disembowels to the shock of the United Nations' Guards.
A shadowy character follows Dr. Venture's every move in New York: Otaku Senzuri, a ninja intent on acquiring the new gadget. While Venture is sleeping, Senzuri manages to steal an equipment case but finds that it only contains Hank and Dean, who were pretending it was a submarine. The ninja knocks them unconscious and leaves them in an alley outside the hotel, where two thugs steal their communicator watches.
When the boys wake up the next morning, they decide to have a "New York adventure" and set out on their own to explore the city. The Monarch arrives in a taxi and follows them, dealing with any interference through his "Sting of the Monarch" darts. At roughly the same time, Brock sets out to find the boys but heads in a different direction. He locates the two hoods and beats them mercilessly before reclaiming the watches.
Arriving in Times Square, Hank and Dean spot a middle-aged prostitute who propositions them. Misinterpreting her offer, they accompany her back to a seedy apartment. After the boys fail to understand her explanation of her services, she touches Hank's crotch; the two teens respond by fleeing in terror. The Monarch, who had staked out the apartment, begins to follow them again but runs into Brock. The bodyguard questions the villain briefly before savagely beating him.
Back at the U.N., Dr. Venture is introduced to explain his new invention, the "Oo Ray". He cheerfully melts a model city in demonstration and is completely mystified by the audience's negative reaction. The U.N. representative hosting the conference scolds Venture, who fails to see any violent applications for his gadget, and apologizes to the crowd.
Hank and Dean's blind panic has somehow led them back to the U.N. building, where they surprise their father. In a foul mood, Venture resigns himself to packing up the Oo Ray for the trip home but discovers Senzuri masturbating next to the machine. A general arrives and orders the ninja's arrest; apparently, Senzuri is a techno-fetishist who can only achieve arousal in the presence of advanced technology. The general then cheers Venture up greatly by buying a hundred Oo Rays for the Army, though Dr. Venture still has no idea what use the Army could make of his invention.
After the credits, Brock is shown spending hundreds of dollars enjoying the hooker's services while The Monarch recuperates in the hospital from his injuries.
- James Urbaniak as Dr. Rusty Venture, Kikai, Taxi Driver
- Patrick Warburton as Brock Samson
- Christopher McCulloch as Hank Venture, The Monarch, Dr. Girlfriend
- Michael Sinterniklaas as Dean Venture, Otaku Senzuri, Monarch Henchman #2, Monarch Henchman #3
- Peter McCulloch as Richard Impossible, General Manhowers, Mummy, Monarch Henchman #1, U.N. Guard, Solar-Powered Car Scientist
- Richard Liebermann-Smith as U.N. Science Director
- Lisa Hammer as The Prostitute
- Soul-Bot as H.E.L.P.eR.